Finding a psychotherapist you can trust to share your most intimate thoughts and feelings with is not an easy task. Finding a psychotherapist with whom there is a good fit is important whether your concerns are small or large. It is important to take the time to find the best psychotherapist for you. If you are going to spend the resources, time, effort and money to learn more about yourself in order to live a life with more ease and confidence. Here are some ways to find that therapist.
A good place to start is to talk to trusted friends and family members who have been in therapy. Ask them about their experience. Did they experience their therapist as a good and careful listener? Did they feel safe in the office and safe to talk to the therapist about what was most important to them? Did the therapist answer their questions? Was the therapist careful about scheduling and time? Was the therapist open and self-reflective?
Your primary care physician or health care professional is another source for referrals. Your insurance provider may have a web site with a referral list of psychotherapists who participate in your health care plan, thus decreasing out of pocket costs to you. An internet search may allow you to find listings of psychotherapists and access to their web sites with information about their practice.
These sources of information are only a starting place. Until you have talked to and met with a psychotherapist you won’t really know if this is the right therapist for you. Having a brief conversation with the psychotherapist on the telephone to answer questions about their practice can give you information about what to expect. Meeting with the psychotherapist for an initial consultation will help you answer more of your questions about the relationship fit.
Observations to consider in that initial session are:
- Was I greeted in a warm and respectful manner?
- Is the office comfortable and is it set up to respect and protect my privacy and confidentiality?
- Does the therapist listen to me attentively?
- Are my thoughts and feelings treated with respect? Do I feel understood?
- When the therapist offers comments do they add something important such as a clarification, interpretation, question or reflection?